This idea of writing about my dieting journey (or weight loss journey) has been working itself out in the back of my head for more than a week now. This morning for the first time in 16 years, I found myself feeling grateful for what I’ve learned. I’ve learned so much. Believe me, this is rock solid out of the blue. For those of us who live it, weight loss is a difficult journey. A bloody shadow boxing dance with self, particularly self as embodied in our bodies. How many waves of riding the self motivational, grab the next new book with hopefully here-to-fore unused power and by God I Will CONquer this thing called weight that seems to stick on me. 🙂 but with each grab, some lessons did stick. each lesson improved my ability to have a responsible relationship with myself. that self as embodied in my body. and from weight loss and dieting came self feeding. now i am conscious of feeding my self with vitality and succulence most of the time. and it is clearly been a personal, spiritual journey. (it all works together folks, don’t fool yourself!) Along the way, I who carried excess matter had to come to grips with feelings of not matter-ing. and with flesh as self-protection until I could take better care of myself. and with developing a genuine relationship with my body instead of succumbing to the many uber-present interpretations of a relationship that I could or should be having. (These are ever eagerly present in the people and society that surround us.) I am still over weight. And I am starting to have genuine conversations with my body (it is happy today). And I am shrinking (today).
Its been a gentler journey once I took it inward. Today I felt none of it was meant to hurt me. Knock me over with a feather.